...8

The words hurt so hard my mouth bleeds.

"Normally you're not very awkward when it comes to the morning after..."
"But I PEED with him!"

Don't play God. Play Satan.

I piss on your cat.

He fucks her with his suit on.

He likes clean breaks and rough edges.

How to write a suspenseful cookbook...

The world burns when Paris burns.

The space between her legs makes an arrow to herself.

Memory foam can't remember my night.

Satan's rat grin and boyish, lion eyes.

...7

Men with flowers.
Men with babies.
Men with axes.

I want to kiss the comfortable skin beneath your sideburn.

"Whiskey Tim" -Mia

I dreamt of broken eggs with watery yolks.

A blank business card.

The hurt in a strong man's eyes, in his indignant jaw.

The loose tunic of a pagan bride.

He doesn't love me. He amuses me.

String her along and call her a strumpet once more.

...6

(see "..." for an explanation)

Take matters into your own hands. Mine are full.

The last lady.

My life is preparing me to leave.

When the going gets tough, order something rare.

I can taste my own bitter breath.

The Breakup Movie

I like the way his jeans fall confidently.

She has the same footsteps everywhere she walks.

Something fascinating becomes frightening.

You swallow my star like a snake.

The friend that never speaks, but always cares.

Falling through the horizon.

...5

(see "..." for an explanation)

I'm not taking her life, just her livelihood.

Death is this glamorous buggy ride, they say.

Watching each page burn, turning ash by ash.

Oh to wake up to the warmth, his hands near your pillow, his breath in your hair.

Everyone believes someone beautiful.

Blood on your knuckles like wet rubies.

My standards like chain link fences...

What a pretty soul you have.

...4

(see "..." for an explanation)

I want to shave my head so I can lose my mind...

You're going to be a beautiful, lonely old man.

With a heart like a pomegranate.

His prehistoric breath is hot in my ear.

I don't care how big it is, baby, but it better make me sing.

I have eyes. You have eyes. What more is there?

She's friendly like a restaurant, like a Walmart.

Smiling because she needs you, because she's obligated.

Your bones will sink.

And my bones will sink.

And we will gnaw at the core of the earth together.

With a heart on my sleeve and a suitcase in my hand, I go everywhere with an open breath.

...3

(see "..." for an explanation)

The last time a man asked me to sit down, I wound up in love.

These little present-kisses, surprises under archways with missing mistletoe.

It all seems pretty upsetting until you realize four years ago you were fifteen.

Twist your arm and tear your heart. That'll teach you to wear anything but a cuff link on your sleeve.

Empty biceps.

Please don't make the rookie mistake of SUCKING!

I want to die like I'm walking into the sun.

Ugly, evil children become ugly, evil adults.

I can't hear the heroes through my pillow.

Walnut man.

Coffee shop stranger: "This is like a reality show"

Dan: "No, it's reality."

I can't stand women who fall asleep pretty.

This eight-legged man-made mammal we call love.

I'm not judgin', just hatin'.

...2

(see "..." for an explanation)

It looks good on every mannequin but me.

Where did the moon go?

I'm not sure, but I hope it comes back tomorrow.

Do you always carry a violin accompanist?

America: ideals built on the back of Cinderella.

But those are my shower heels!

The first sounds that hit your eardrums were the screams of your mother.

Someday someone beautiful will love me.

And she's lookin' at you like some kind of puppy.

All you men looking for the darling to hang on your coat. You forget how sensual it is to look a woman in her even-toned eyes and know she doesn't need you.

I'm gonna give you a chance to make me happy.

Daddy, I want to dance with you at my wedding. Don't ruin that.

...

(EXPLANATION: I write what I call "randoms" as I go through the day. They're all disjointed bits of personal nothing.)

When you see him in every man you meet, you know he's broken your heart.

There have always been old people.

Venn diagram breasts.

Turning crushes into contacts...

Thick forearms and rugged knuckles.

The dangerous musician.

What's the difference between a timebomb and a wristwatch? A deadline.

Don't invite me to keep your secrets.

He reads the obituaries to an applauding audience every night.

Mr. Forever, when are you?

I break New Year's resolutions like first floor windows.

Imma drink vodka out of jam jars and turn your champagne bottles into knives.

Can I take shelter under your cheekbones?

1 a.m. on an empty-roaded Tuesday, and I always find my way to your door.

God works in coincidence.

Someone dotes on every detail so you can take it for granted.

Why don't I get all dressed up so you can mess it all up?