The last time a man asked me to sit down, I wound up in love.
These little present-kisses, surprises under archways with missing mistletoe.
It all seems pretty upsetting until you realize four years ago you were fifteen.
Twist your arm and tear your heart. That'll teach you to wear anything but a cuff link on your sleeve.
Empty biceps.
Please don't make the rookie mistake of SUCKING!
I want to die like I'm walking into the sun.
Ugly, evil children become ugly, evil adults.
I can't hear the heroes through my pillow.
Walnut man.
Coffee shop stranger: "This is like a reality show"
Dan: "No, it's reality."
I can't stand women who fall asleep pretty.
This eight-legged man-made mammal we call love.
I'm not judgin', just hatin'.