"You know what's funny? It's impossible for women to lose weight. Like. Impossible."

"I've seen that girl. Look at her. Look at her face. She's got that nose."

"Yeah, we're gonna kill the person with slower internet."

"They put the most uncoordinated people in these commercials. So uncoordinated. It's a fucking spice rack."

"This will last you a lifetime, and we'll give you two!"

-Kev, 7-15-11